Episode 382 – Time Travelling Hippies

I nabbed a FitBit the other day and have been in a workweek competition with a group of ladies… and I’m convinced one of them is cheating. ¬†I found a way to get steps while not actually walking (jostle the FitBit while it is around your wrist), and I can only assume the woman is doing that. ¬†Or she has tied it to a ferret and given the ferret speed. ¬†The woman normally averages 6K steps a day… and has somehow changed her daily habits to accommodate over 15K the last several days while working a full day. ¬†I am not bitter… you are.

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Factoid of the Week:
On average, fingernails grow about one tenth of an inch in a month.

Delhi University could add Facebook course to English degrees
Man runs into burning building twice to save beer
For $425, you can have your own designer pair of mud-covered jeans
Glasgow gym set to introduce fitness class consisting of nothing but SLEEPING for 45 minutes

Words of Wisdom:
Failures, repeated failures, are finger posts on the road to achievement. One fails forward toward success. РC. S. Lewis 

Episode 381 – Herb Garden

Apparently, the inside of my shower looks like an botanical garden because of all the hippy crap I use on my face and hair. ¬†Look, honey is good for your skin! ¬†So is brewer’s yeast. ¬†It just smells like beer. ¬†Actually, you can just use beer. ¬†I had pineapple in my drink and it is now eating the roof of my mouth off. ¬†Someone help. ¬†Why. ¬†It hurts.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE! ¬†Even your grandmother! ¬†She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week:
Your chances of being killed by a vending machine are actually twice as large as your chance of being bitten by a shark.

To avoid trip with girlfriend, travel agent sent ‚Äėhijack threat‚Äô to airports
Coin toss decides winner of small Illinois village election
WOMAN ATTEMPTS TO USE URINE FILLED CONDOM TO PASS DRUG TEST
Incredibly loud sex interrupts Florida tennis match

Words of Wisdom:
Never, ever underestimate the importance of having fun. – Randy Pausch

Episode 380 – TEN BLOODY YEARS

Guys, it has been TEN FLIPPING YEARS since Stephen and I started this journey! ¬†TEN! ¬†That is a DECADE. ¬†And this is from someone who cannot math… I am SO happy that Stephen asked me to do this with him so long ago. ¬†We have made so many fun memories and so many WONDERFUL friends. ¬†You guys give us life. ¬†You make these episodes worth listening to and we could not love you more <3 ¬†Thank you for being a part of a decade worth of odd and crazy news!

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE! ¬†Even your grandmother! ¬†She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week:

  1. There is a single mega-colony of ants that spans three continents, covering much of Europe, the west coast of the U.S., and the west coast of Japan. 
  2. The Romans used to clean and whiten their teeth with urine. 
  3. The Dance Fever of 1518 was a month-long plague of inexplicable dancing in Strasbourg, in which hundreds of people danced for about a month for no apparent reason. Several of them danced themselves to death.
  4. Some fruit flies are genetically resistant to getting drunk ‚ÄĒ but only if they have an inactive version of a gene scientists have named “happyhour”.

Manure happens: German dad, daughter doused with detritus
8-Year-Old ‚ÄėBorrows‚Äô Dad‚Äôs Car, Drives To McDonald‚Äôs For Cheeseburger
Condom-clogged pipe leads to prostitution ring bust at strip mall
Guy eating photo of Jason Segel every day almost dies eating photo of Jason Segel

Words of Wisdom:
A wise man can learn more from a foolish question than a fool can learn from a wise answer.  РBruce Lee

Episode 379 – Devil’s Breath Butthole Mustard Cannon

There are two types of people on this earth… the type that turn the eye of the stove on high while cutting up their veggies, and the type that cut up their veggies before burning the oil in their pan. ¬†I am the former. ¬†I have yet to meet a bulb of garlic that I have not burned while cutting up the rest of dinner. ¬†I am a winner. ¬†That rhymed.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE! ¬†Even your grandmother! ¬†She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week:
It takes 17 million barrels of oil to produce plastic bottles yearly. This could fuel 1 million cars for a year.

Stinky cooking odours constitute a crime, Italy’s supreme court rules
Philippine clinic uses Wolverine to sell circumcisions
China introduces facial recognition technology to dispense toilet paper
Wealthy residents complain their dialing code doesn’t reveal how rich they are

Words of Wisdom:
The earth laughs in flowers. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Episode 378 – Zelda’s Breath Smells

Today is Sam’s 2nd birthday, so this episode of inappropriateness is brought to you by his parents successfully having sex 2 years and 9 months ago! ¬†Yay! ¬†Always wear a condom… unless you also want a child that gets sand in his shoes. ¬†I want orange juice. ¬†Squirrel.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE! ¬†Even your grandmother! ¬†She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week:
The orange is a citrus fruit and is a hybrid of the pomelo and mandarin.

Salt lake in Australian park turns bright pink
Lawyer’s Pants Catch On Fire During Arson Trial
Tiny brain found inside ovary of 16-year-old girl
Now You Can Give Oral Sex Long-Distance By Licking Your Phone

Words of Wisdom:
Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine. – Anthony J. D’Angelo

Episode 377 – Balls in Your Hand

Today’s episode is a bit heavier than our typical poo-laden chat-fests, but we had loads of fun getting a bit deeper with you guys… and then talking about a mailman that had an affair with a door mail slot… We gotta have balance, you know? ūüėÄ

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE! ¬†Even your grandmother! ¬†She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week:
Egyptians used kohl to darken their eyelashes, and they added honey and crocodile stool to it to keep this early version of mascara from running

College student makes extra money turning dead animals into pencil cases
‘Adulting 101’ classes for young adults launch at North Bend Public Library
Postal worker who pleasured himself through letterbox caught on CCTV making unwanted delivery
Australia plans to kill carp with herpes

Words of Wisdom:
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. -Mark Twain

Episode 376 – ChillZ

I’ve been watching this anime called The Seven Deadly Sins, and it is awesome! ¬†I haven’t watched much anime in the last little bit and I did not realize how much I missed it! ¬†Stephen thinks it is a ball of hairy turd balls, but I love it so hard ^_^ What’s your favorite anime? ¬†Or do you side with Stephen on this one? ¬†Comment below!

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE! ¬†Even your grandmother! ¬†She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week:
Only 59% of the moon’s surface is visible from earth.

London Mayor urged to hire cat after mice fall on schoolchildren’s heads
Law proposed in US to restrict access to Viagra to married men who have permission from their wives
Vagina-sealing glue-stick: a new alternative to traditional sanitary products
Swedish Politician Wants People To Take Sex Breaks From Work

Words of Wisdom:
Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.  РBuddha

Episode 375 – Raiding is a B

PVP in Dungeon Boss is the most annoying thing on the planet right now! ¬†I have currently died ALL the times. ¬†Grrrr. ¬†I have the anger. ¬†I guess I will listen to the world’s best, most funniest podcast ever… you should too :p ¬†(I mean us. ¬†Listen to us.)

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE! ¬†Even your grandmother! ¬†She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week:
There are 40,000 varieties of rice that differ in size, texture, color and taste.

Chinese man sprays insecticide into his ear to remove cockroach trapped for three days
Valentine’s Dance in Oklahoma Canceled Because of Ordinance Barring Dancing Within 500 Feet of a Church
Cab Driver Blames Speeding On Passengers’ Farts
BURBANK MAN SELLS HARAMBE-SHAPED CHEETO FOR NEARLY $100K ON EBAY

Words of Wisdom:
A mountain is composed of tiny grains of earth. The ocean is made up of tiny drops of water. Even so, life is but an endless series of little details, actions, speeches, and thoughts. And the consequences whether good or bad of even the least of them are far-reaching. – Swami Sivananda

Episode 374 – Dull Drums

Today, I paint my face with purple, matte lipstick that I have just now found out will STAIN any skin it comes into contact with!  So, I currently am sporting the incredibly ill-drawn designs in a lighter shade of purple than they were applied.  I look like I have a skin disease.  Also, special guest ASKREN joins us today for some encouraging talk about how to do everything you want to do and still occasionally sleep!

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE! ¬†Even your grandmother! ¬†She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week:
A gale is officially defined as a wind of between 32 and 63 miles per hour. A wind blowing from 4 to 31mph is a breeze.

Tech Giant Tencent Slammed over Simulated Oral Sex Leak
Michigan man ticketed for leaving car running in driveway
Special Guest: ASKREN!
Woman fined £80 for pouring her coffee down a drain
Great-grandma accidentally spends YEARS praying to Lord of the Rings figurine after mistaking it for a saint

Words of Wisdom:
The seaman tells stories of winds, the ploughman of bulls; the soldier details his wounds, the shepherd his sheep.  РLaurence J. Peter