Episode 369 – I Have No Butt

extreme_bodybuilder_02Have you ever had Rum Balls?  I made some last week and Stephen and I destroyed them.  Well, let’s be honest, I stopped making them into balls years ago… too much work.  I now just make a massive lump of rum dough and give Stephen a spoon.  Life is good.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
The word winters comes from the Germanic wintar which in turn is derived from the root wed  meaning ‘wet’ or water’, and so signifying a wet season.

Bodybuilder Bitch Slaps Judge
Pot Smuggled in Christmas Presents
Protein Rich Sperm Smoothies
Just Buy The Damn Raspberries

Words of Wisdom:
Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face. – Victor Hugo

Episode 368 – Exploding Cheetos

Today we talk about why pineapple tastes so delicious and then burns a hole right THROUGH your tongue while short circuiting all of your nerves on the way.  Pineapple is a bit of a jerk.  A delicious jerk.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
People of Greece are the largest consumers of cheese worldwide. An average person from Greece consumes around 27.3 kg of cheese every year, about ¾ of which is feta cheese.

Thai Man Marries Cobra (Believes it is Dead GF)
Ninja Steals Katana From Comic Store
Wedding Ring Penis Strangulation
Flaming Hot Revenge Cheetos

Words of Wisdom:
Age is of no importance, unless you are a cheese.

Episode 367 – “Hard Core Shallots”

We welcome to the show, TATOR!  Tater?  That spuds dude that gives us his opinion in a redneck accent… and it’s amazing.   I have a cold… and I am sneezing… and I hate it.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
A typical fart is composed of about 59 percent nitrogen, 21 percent hydrogen, 9 percent carbon dioxide, 7 percent methane and 4 percent oxygen. Only about one percent of a fart contains hydrogen sulfide gas and mercaptans, which contain sulfur, and the sulfur is what makes farts stink.

Fart At Own Risk
Charity Workers Forced to Shove Cigs up Rear
Stolen Kit Kat Leads to 6,500 more!
Dead Treasurer Elected to Office

Words of Wisdom:
I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don’t let anybody tell you different.  – Kurt Vonnegut

 

Episode 366 – Flocculating Bacon Grease

I’ve been using the Muse Headband (omg, so amazing), watching Black Mirror, and reading about self-driving beer delivery trucks that go on 120 mile trips… we live in the future, man!  Just yesterday, I asked my phone how many cups were in 2 pints and she TOLD me.  It was a glorious moment.  Now, off to have intercourse with my robot boyfriend!

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
By law, a pregnant woman can pee anywhere she wants to in Britain, even if she chooses, in a police officer’s helmets.

Topless-Selfie Leads to Crash with a Squad Car
Man Stops at In-n-Out Burger during Police Chase
Lover of Large
Rash of Clown Sightings

Words of Wisdom:
Rogues are preferable to imbeciles because they sometimes take a rest – Alexandre Dumas

Episode 365 – Kiss Mass

This week, we celebrate day two of my Birthday!  Yes, I get two days.  In reality, every day is treated like my birthday… because I am awesome.  No, not really.  But Jacob did make me WAFFLES with kiwis and peaches!  Dude, you dunno how good that stuff is!  AHHHH!  On a lighter note – here’s hoping that Stephen doesn’t get hit in the head with a green screen two shows in a row.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
The boomslang snake’s venom causes you to bleed from all orifices of your body.

U.K. shopper suffering from sore feet calls ambulance for ride home
Iredell man burns down shed while blowtorching spider webs
Swine brew: New Jersey beer celebrates pork roll
Entrepreneurs are selling Australia’s fresh air in a can to China

Words of Wisdom:
Kill the snake of doubt in your soul, crush the worms of fear in your heart and mountains will move out of your way. -Kate Seredy

Episode 364 – Sausage Dip Party

I am currently eating a pickle in cream cheese… and I am so very pleased to be doing this.  Seriously, go get a pickle and smear cream cheese on it… and then eat it.  It’s amazing.  Stop snarling your nose.  Unless you don’t like one of the two ingredients… then just keep moving on.  I also drank a beer.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
Handshakes were originally meant to make sure that the person you were meeting wasn’t carrying a concealed weapon. The hand clasp proved that your hand was empty and shaking was meant to dislodge any weapons hiding up the sleeve.

Zimbabwe Orders Arrest of Olympic Athletes
Man Stabs Slow Golfer
Naked swimmer hospitalized after angler hooks his penis
Man Strands Himself in Porta-Potty

Words of Wisdom:
Quiet minds cannot be perplexed or frightened but go on in fortune or misfortune at their own private pace, like a clock during a thunderstorm. – Robert Louis Stevenson

Episode 363 – Vomitorium

Something is biting my leg!  I cannot see it, so one can only assume it is a tiny green bug from X-Files. >_<  I also ate way too much for breakfast and now need waffles to make it better :p

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
The five Olympic rings represent the five major regions of the world – Africa, the Americas, Asia, Europe and Oceana, and every national flag in the world includes one of the five colors, which are (from left to right) blue, yellow, black, green, and red.

Russian Woman Claims Pokemon Molested Her
NJ Man’s Wife and GF Place Competing Obits in Paper
Thieves Attempt to Siphon Gas From a Bus But Accidentally Suck Out Sewage
Rio Claims “Chemistry is not an exact science”

Words of Wisdom:
The most important thing in the Olympic Games is not winning but taking part; the essential thing in life is not conquering but fighting well. -Pierre de Coubertin

Episode 362 – Not That Wounded Knee

Someone order me a pizza and have it delivered to the house.  After this week’s news, I have decided the world is totally mental and I just wanna eat pizza and watch scary movies.  I want to do that all the time anyway, but with the end of the world neigh… pizza and horror movies it is!

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
The word ‘shrine’ comes from the Latin scrinium meaning ‘chest for books’.

Olympians will ‘literally be swimming in human crap,’
Woman alleges she was ‘sexually assaulted’ by Wee Wee toy in hibachi restaurant
It’s hot enough outside that horse shit is catching on fire
3 Million Dollar Lottery Winner Invested Prize In Crystal Meth Ring

Words of Wisdom:
All generalizations are dangerous, even this one.  – Alexandre Dumas

Episode 361 – National Hot Dog Day

We are back after a two week hiatus!  There was a zombie outbreak across state lines and they needed my expertise.  Expertise should be spelled with a “c”.  English is so weird.  Thank you so much for taking time out of your day to listen to our geeky ramblings!  You guys are amazing!

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
In 1986, a volcanic lake in Cameroon, Africa burped a C02 gas cloud that killed 1,746 people in minutes.

Tattooist Plants Penis and F Bomb Instead of Requested Symbol
Town finds THC in Water
PokeMonGo Players Hits Cop Car While Playing
Man Poops Pants to Avoid Being Arrested

Words of Wisdom:
I prefer rogues to imbeciles, because they sometimes take a rest. -Alexandre Dumas