Episode 363 – Vomitorium

Something is biting my leg!  I cannot see it, so one can only assume it is a tiny green bug from X-Files. >_<  I also ate way too much for breakfast and now need waffles to make it better :p

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Factoid of the Week:
The five Olympic rings represent the five major regions of the world – Africa, the Americas, Asia, Europe and Oceana, and every national flag in the world includes one of the five colors, which are (from left to right) blue, yellow, black, green, and red.

Russian Woman Claims Pokemon Molested Her
NJ Man’s Wife and GF Place Competing Obits in Paper
Thieves Attempt to Siphon Gas From a Bus But Accidentally Suck Out Sewage
Rio Claims “Chemistry is not an exact science”

Words of Wisdom:
The most important thing in the Olympic Games is not winning but taking part; the essential thing in life is not conquering but fighting well. -Pierre de Coubertin

Episode 362 – Not That Wounded Knee

Someone order me a pizza and have it delivered to the house.  After this week’s news, I have decided the world is totally mental and I just wanna eat pizza and watch scary movies.  I want to do that all the time anyway, but with the end of the world neigh… pizza and horror movies it is!

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week:
The word ‘shrine’ comes from the Latin scrinium meaning ‘chest for books’.

Olympians will ‘literally be swimming in human crap,’
Woman alleges she was ‘sexually assaulted’ by Wee Wee toy in hibachi restaurant
It’s hot enough outside that horse shit is catching on fire
3 Million Dollar Lottery Winner Invested Prize In Crystal Meth Ring

Words of Wisdom:
All generalizations are dangerous, even this one.  – Alexandre Dumas

Episode 361 – National Hot Dog Day

We are back after a two week hiatus!  There was a zombie outbreak across state lines and they needed my expertise.  Expertise should be spelled with a “c”.  English is so weird.  Thank you so much for taking time out of your day to listen to our geeky ramblings!  You guys are amazing!

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week:
In 1986, a volcanic lake in Cameroon, Africa burped a C02 gas cloud that killed 1,746 people in minutes.

Tattooist Plants Penis and F Bomb Instead of Requested Symbol
Town finds THC in Water
PokeMonGo Players Hits Cop Car While Playing
Man Poops Pants to Avoid Being Arrested

Words of Wisdom:
I prefer rogues to imbeciles, because they sometimes take a rest. -Alexandre Dumas

Episode 360 – Circular Jerk

For whatever reason, I decided to draw on my face throughout the whole show… and make myself more and more clown-like.  Why?  Who knows? I also, REALLY need to pee, but what’s new with that?  Enjoy the madness of the following stories!  Also, there is ET in there somewhere.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week:
Billy goats urinate on their own heads to smell more attractive to females.

An 18th Century Chinese vase that was used as a door-stop at a house by a Birmingham family has been sold for 865,000 at auction.
Fla. woman threatens man with hatchet for refusing sex
Police: Man Tried To Shove Bag Of Poop Down Woman’s Pants On Upper East Side
Utah Man Who Sued for Right to Marry His Computer: ‘This Is Not a Game’

Words of Wisdom:
In sports, every day you can be the hero or the goat.

Episode 359 – Holy Sheet

Guys, I seriously cannot count.  At all.  I make the google docs ahead of time, so I can just swoop in and drop the info into the templates.  Today’s ep is 359 and the last template I had made up, so I decided to make some more.  The next few in the series I created were 400-405.  Apparently, 400 comes after 349.  I am an idiot -_-

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week:
Shakespeare made up the name “Jessica” for his play Merchant of Venice.

Chinese Bank Publicly Spanks Employees for Poor Performance
Robbers Make Wrong Turn – Into FBI HQ
Ohioan Throws Poop After Sentencing
Dozens Injured by Hot Coals at a Motivational Seminar

Words of Wisdom:
Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none. -William Shakespeare

Episode 358 – Doom and Jesus

OMG, guys…. I’m so freaking tired!  This weekend was great, but I want CHICKFILA and DOOM!  We did a “quick” 45 min show because I need a milkshake and I need it now.  I’m so excited for Sugar and Doom.  Also, I have to pee.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week:
When hippos are upset, their sweat turns red.

Will Loan Money for Nudes
Up in Smoke
Like to hunt, but you’re a pacifist? New York City has a deal for you!Man Sneaks Iguana into Courthouse !

Words of Wisdom:
A dream doesn’t become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination and hard work. – Colin Powell

Episode 357 – Magnum

We are debating on whether to see Warcraft… I’ve read the awful reviews, but I’ve also got nothing but thumb’s up from my friends… Ahhhhh!  What should I do!?  Also, I think we might get Doom tonight >_>  Stephen is getting it for PC, so I suppose that is what I shall do too!  Must needs shoot things with Stephen!

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
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Factoid of the Week:
Russia has a larger surface area than Pluto.

Live Spider Pulled From Welsh Woman’s Ear
Rancher on Horseback Gives Chase to Bike Thief – Lassos Him
Woman Breastfeeds her Boyfriend (36)
Woman Seeks Divorce Due to Husband’s Enormous Penis

Words of Wisdom:
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.  -Plato

Episode 356 – On Point

Welcome back to another wonderful Saturday (or whenever you’re seeing this) of Stephen and Smashie ramble about news time!  This week we talk about…. I have no idea because I haven’t stolen news stories from Jacob just yet >_>  I did get a bug bite on my face, so that was cool.  And I’m considering dying my hair a fun color (just the underneath), so I might need help with that.  Enjoy your time with the show!  Leave us feedback, if you have any!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use. It helps us out a ton!

Factoid of the Week:
Light takes 1.255 seconds to get from the Earth to the Moon.

Female Only Parking Spaces 50% Bigger
Man Strips, Poops on Grocery Store Scanner
Man Chops off Friend’s Weener After Finding it is Larger
Neighbor Finds Zombie Surprise in Newly Purchased Freezer

Words of Wisdom:
We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.  -Plato

Episode 355 – Secret Bushes

Happy Memorial Day Weekend Thing, folks!  Join Stephen and I as we drink to excess and have amazing conversations with our amazing Legion of Dorks!  Also, whale puke beer.

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use. It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
A paper bag takes twice the amount of energy to make than a plastic bag, but is biodegradable.

Father Pays Child Support in Pizza
SC Man Takes Out Loan to Buy Meth..
Whale Puke Beer is So Hot Meow
Pot Head Sheep Rampage

Words of Wisdom:
Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart.  – William Wordsworth

Episode 354 – Press Dat Panini

Welcome new people’s to the Legion of Dorks!  We love you guys so hard and it’s freaking AWESOME hanging out with you in the chat for the show. You make us happy 😀  (if you know what I mean).  Who all is playing doom?  I need to not suck at shooters…. because I want to play and not die a lot.

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use. It helps us out a ton!

Factoid of the Week:
Coca-Cola would be green without food coloring

Ottawa Woman’s Chest Too Big for Workout
Naked Man Rescued from Chimney
Don’t Poop While On the Job (at least on people’s lawns)

Words of Wisdom:
There is more treasure in books than in all the pirate’s loot on Treasure Island. – Walt Disney