Episode 384 – Domestic Parsnips

PSA:  Don’t buy a house.  Build one.  Buy a lot of land you love and build there… just back it up to a national forest so the government can’t put a highway through it.  Seriously, graveyards don’t even stop them from gobbling up your land and slapping a road right through the middle.  Also, all the houses here were drawn up by the same very boring white man who drank exactly one cup of black coffveve every morning along side his dark-wheat toast with no jam.  Kill.  Me.

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Factoid of the Week:
The man who pioneered the use of semen as invisible ink was named Sir George Mansfield Smith-Cumming, because fate exists. He was the first director of the British Secret Service (also known as MI6, the organization that employs James Bond) and a marvelously eccentric man known to prank the people around him by stabbing his artificial leg. BSS agents were so amused by his latest oddball obsession that they adopted the motto “Every man his own stylo.” Fortunately for all concerned, the idea was eventually shelved. While the semen might have been invisible, it did give off an odor, defeating the purpose.

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SPECIAL: 
The Most Commonly Misspelled Word In Wisconsin Is…
Indian judge claims peacocks reproduce from tears and that cow urine prevents aging
Daughter ‘had sex with her FATHER because she hoped it would make him change his mind about marrying his fiancée’

Words of Wisdom:
The great enemy of clear language is insincerity. When there is a gap between one’s real and one’s declared aims, one turns, as it were, instinctively to long words and exhausted idioms, like a cuttlefish squirting out ink. -George Orwell

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