Episode 381 – Herb Garden

Apparently, the inside of my shower looks like an botanical garden because of all the hippy crap I use on my face and hair.  Look, honey is good for your skin!  So is brewer’s yeast.  It just smells like beer.  Actually, you can just use beer.  I had pineapple in my drink and it is now eating the roof of my mouth off.  Someone help.  Why.  It hurts.

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Factoid of the Week:
Your chances of being killed by a vending machine are actually twice as large as your chance of being bitten by a shark.

To avoid trip with girlfriend, travel agent sent ‘hijack threat’ to airports
Coin toss decides winner of small Illinois village election
WOMAN ATTEMPTS TO USE URINE FILLED CONDOM TO PASS DRUG TEST
Incredibly loud sex interrupts Florida tennis match

Words of Wisdom:
Never, ever underestimate the importance of having fun. – Randy Pausch

Episode 380 – TEN BLOODY YEARS

Guys, it has been TEN FLIPPING YEARS since Stephen and I started this journey!  TEN!  That is a DECADE.  And this is from someone who cannot math… I am SO happy that Stephen asked me to do this with him so long ago.  We have made so many fun memories and so many WONDERFUL friends.  You guys give us life.  You make these episodes worth listening to and we could not love you more <3  Thank you for being a part of a decade worth of odd and crazy news!

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week:

  1. There is a single mega-colony of ants that spans three continents, covering much of Europe, the west coast of the U.S., and the west coast of Japan. 
  2. The Romans used to clean and whiten their teeth with urine
  3. The Dance Fever of 1518 was a month-long plague of inexplicable dancing in Strasbourg, in which hundreds of people danced for about a month for no apparent reason. Several of them danced themselves to death.
  4. Some fruit flies are genetically resistant to getting drunk — but only if they have an inactive version of a gene scientists have named “happyhour”.

Manure happens: German dad, daughter doused with detritus
8-Year-Old ‘Borrows’ Dad’s Car, Drives To McDonald’s For Cheeseburger
Condom-clogged pipe leads to prostitution ring bust at strip mall
Guy eating photo of Jason Segel every day almost dies eating photo of Jason Segel

Words of Wisdom:
A wise man can learn more from a foolish question than a fool can learn from a wise answer.  – Bruce Lee

Episode 379 – Devil’s Breath Butthole Mustard Cannon

There are two types of people on this earth… the type that turn the eye of the stove on high while cutting up their veggies, and the type that cut up their veggies before burning the oil in their pan.  I am the former.  I have yet to meet a bulb of garlic that I have not burned while cutting up the rest of dinner.  I am a winner.  That rhymed.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week:
It takes 17 million barrels of oil to produce plastic bottles yearly. This could fuel 1 million cars for a year.

Stinky cooking odours constitute a crime, Italy’s supreme court rules
Philippine clinic uses Wolverine to sell circumcisions
China introduces facial recognition technology to dispense toilet paper
Wealthy residents complain their dialing code doesn’t reveal how rich they are

Words of Wisdom:
The earth laughs in flowers. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Episode 378 – Zelda’s Breath Smells

Today is Sam’s 2nd birthday, so this episode of inappropriateness is brought to you by his parents successfully having sex 2 years and 9 months ago!  Yay!  Always wear a condom… unless you also want a child that gets sand in his shoes.  I want orange juice.  Squirrel.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

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Factoid of the Week:
The orange is a citrus fruit and is a hybrid of the pomelo and mandarin.

Salt lake in Australian park turns bright pink
Lawyer’s Pants Catch On Fire During Arson Trial
Tiny brain found inside ovary of 16-year-old girl
Now You Can Give Oral Sex Long-Distance By Licking Your Phone

Words of Wisdom:
Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine. – Anthony J. D’Angelo

Episode 377 – Balls in Your Hand

Today’s episode is a bit heavier than our typical poo-laden chat-fests, but we had loads of fun getting a bit deeper with you guys… and then talking about a mailman that had an affair with a door mail slot… We gotta have balance, you know? 😀

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week:
Egyptians used kohl to darken their eyelashes, and they added honey and crocodile stool to it to keep this early version of mascara from running

College student makes extra money turning dead animals into pencil cases
‘Adulting 101’ classes for young adults launch at North Bend Public Library
Postal worker who pleasured himself through letterbox caught on CCTV making unwanted delivery
Australia plans to kill carp with herpes

Words of Wisdom:
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. -Mark Twain

Episode 376 – ChillZ

I’ve been watching this anime called The Seven Deadly Sins, and it is awesome!  I haven’t watched much anime in the last little bit and I did not realize how much I missed it!  Stephen thinks it is a ball of hairy turd balls, but I love it so hard ^_^ What’s your favorite anime?  Or do you side with Stephen on this one?  Comment below!

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week:
Only 59% of the moon’s surface is visible from earth.

London Mayor urged to hire cat after mice fall on schoolchildren’s heads
Law proposed in US to restrict access to Viagra to married men who have permission from their wives
Vagina-sealing glue-stick: a new alternative to traditional sanitary products
Swedish Politician Wants People To Take Sex Breaks From Work

Words of Wisdom:
Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.  – Buddha

Episode 370 – Butt Cinders (WHY ALL THE BUTTS?!)

Have you ever noticed that when you do not get enough sleep you wake up hungry; ravenous, even?  I mean, if I get less than 8 hours of sleep, I want to cover the blanket off my bed in gravey and shovel it down in heaping spoonfulls.  That’s science!  They’ve done studies (that I will not cite here because I am pretending this is a BS paper that a college student is writing) that link not enough sleep to improper eating habits and weight gain.  So, when I sleep in, I am really watching over my health.  Suck on that!

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week:
Candle flames are blue at the bottom because that’s where they take up fresh air, and yellow at the top because the rising fumes from below partly suffocate the upper part of the flame.

Landlord Caught Having Sex In Tenants’s Bed
That’ll show her! Frustrated husband chops off his genitals with a knife after his wife hadn’t had sex with him for a DECADE

Words of Wisdom:
Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. – William Butler Yeats

Episode 369 – I Have No Butt

extreme_bodybuilder_02Have you ever had Rum Balls?  I made some last week and Stephen and I destroyed them.  Well, let’s be honest, I stopped making them into balls years ago… too much work.  I now just make a massive lump of rum dough and give Stephen a spoon.  Life is good.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week:
The word winters comes from the Germanic wintar which in turn is derived from the root wed  meaning ‘wet’ or water’, and so signifying a wet season.

Bodybuilder Bitch Slaps Judge
Pot Smuggled in Christmas Presents
Protein Rich Sperm Smoothies
Just Buy The Damn Raspberries

Words of Wisdom:
Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face. – Victor Hugo

Episode 368 – Exploding Cheetos

Today we talk about why pineapple tastes so delicious and then burns a hole right THROUGH your tongue while short circuiting all of your nerves on the way.  Pineapple is a bit of a jerk.  A delicious jerk.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week:
People of Greece are the largest consumers of cheese worldwide. An average person from Greece consumes around 27.3 kg of cheese every year, about ¾ of which is feta cheese.

Thai Man Marries Cobra (Believes it is Dead GF)
Ninja Steals Katana From Comic Store
Wedding Ring Penis Strangulation
Flaming Hot Revenge Cheetos

Words of Wisdom:
Age is of no importance, unless you are a cheese.

Episode 367 – “Hard Core Shallots”

We welcome to the show, TATOR!  Tater?  That spuds dude that gives us his opinion in a redneck accent… and it’s amazing.   I have a cold… and I am sneezing… and I hate it.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE!  Even your grandmother!  She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

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Factoid of the Week:
A typical fart is composed of about 59 percent nitrogen, 21 percent hydrogen, 9 percent carbon dioxide, 7 percent methane and 4 percent oxygen. Only about one percent of a fart contains hydrogen sulfide gas and mercaptans, which contain sulfur, and the sulfur is what makes farts stink.

Fart At Own Risk
Charity Workers Forced to Shove Cigs up Rear
Stolen Kit Kat Leads to 6,500 more!
Dead Treasurer Elected to Office

Words of Wisdom:
I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don’t let anybody tell you different.  – Kurt Vonnegut