Episode 377 – Balls in Your Hand

Today’s episode is a bit heavier than our typical poo-laden chat-fests, but we had loads of fun getting a bit deeper with you guys… and then talking about a mailman that had an affair with a door mail slot… We gotta have balance, you know? ūüėÄ

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE! ¬†Even your grandmother! ¬†She needs penis jokes too!

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Factoid of the Week:
Egyptians used kohl to darken their eyelashes, and they added honey and crocodile stool to it to keep this early version of mascara from running

College student makes extra money turning dead animals into pencil cases
‘Adulting 101’ classes for young adults launch at North Bend Public Library
Postal worker who pleasured himself through letterbox caught on CCTV making unwanted delivery
Australia plans to kill carp with herpes

Words of Wisdom:
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. -Mark Twain

Episode 376 – ChillZ

I’ve been watching this anime called The Seven Deadly Sins, and it is awesome! ¬†I haven’t watched much anime in the last little bit and I did not realize how much I missed it! ¬†Stephen thinks it is a ball of hairy turd balls, but I love it so hard ^_^ What’s your favorite anime? ¬†Or do you side with Stephen on this one? ¬†Comment below!

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE! ¬†Even your grandmother! ¬†She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
Only 59% of the moon’s surface is visible from earth.

London Mayor urged to hire cat after mice fall on schoolchildren’s heads
Law proposed in US to restrict access to Viagra to married men who have permission from their wives
Vagina-sealing glue-stick: a new alternative to traditional sanitary products
Swedish Politician Wants People To Take Sex Breaks From Work

Words of Wisdom:
Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.  РBuddha

Episode 375 – Raiding is a B

PVP in Dungeon Boss is the most annoying thing on the planet right now! ¬†I have currently died ALL the times. ¬†Grrrr. ¬†I have the anger. ¬†I guess I will listen to the world’s best, most funniest podcast ever… you should too :p ¬†(I mean us. ¬†Listen to us.)

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE! ¬†Even your grandmother! ¬†She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
There are 40,000 varieties of rice that differ in size, texture, color and taste.

Chinese man sprays insecticide into his ear to remove cockroach trapped for three days
Valentine’s Dance in Oklahoma Canceled Because of Ordinance Barring Dancing Within 500 Feet of a Church
Cab Driver Blames Speeding On Passengers’ Farts
BURBANK MAN SELLS HARAMBE-SHAPED CHEETO FOR NEARLY $100K ON EBAY

Words of Wisdom:
A mountain is composed of tiny grains of earth. The ocean is made up of tiny drops of water. Even so, life is but an endless series of little details, actions, speeches, and thoughts. And the consequences whether good or bad of even the least of them are far-reaching. – Swami Sivananda

Episode 374 – Dull Drums

Today, I paint my face with purple, matte lipstick that I have just now found out will STAIN any skin it comes into contact with!  So, I currently am sporting the incredibly ill-drawn designs in a lighter shade of purple than they were applied.  I look like I have a skin disease.  Also, special guest ASKREN joins us today for some encouraging talk about how to do everything you want to do and still occasionally sleep!

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE! ¬†Even your grandmother! ¬†She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
A gale is officially defined as a wind of between 32 and 63 miles per hour. A wind blowing from 4 to 31mph is a breeze.

Tech Giant Tencent Slammed over Simulated Oral Sex Leak
Michigan man ticketed for leaving car running in driveway
Special Guest: ASKREN!
Woman fined £80 for pouring her coffee down a drain
Great-grandma accidentally spends YEARS praying to Lord of the Rings figurine after mistaking it for a saint

Words of Wisdom:
The seaman tells stories of winds, the ploughman of bulls; the soldier details his wounds, the shepherd his sheep.  РLaurence J. Peter

Episode 373 – Bananahan

I found out that lime juice in hibiscus tea is just about the best thing that has every happened to the civilized world. I’m not sure why no one told me this earlier, and I am quite saddened by the fact that lime juice in tea isn’t enough of a thing that I didn’t hear about it ages ago. I also would like a nap. I decided to run from zombies for a few miles today… and that was very tiring. I did get a bottle of water and some trousers, though… so that was nice. “Zombies, Run!” is a fun app. Check it out.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE! ¬†Even your grandmother! ¬†She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
The US has the 10th largest oil reserve in the world. Venezuela has the largest, with 298.35 billion barrels compared to the US’ 33 billion barrels.

Taiwan politician’s funeral features 50 pole dancers
Wrong number: Louisiana man texts deputy about meth delivery
Man ‘opens fire on wife over grilled cheese sandwich bite’
Now you can do yoga with goats in Oregon

Lost Signals – A Film By Coleman Ranahan
Buy it now!

Words of Wisdom:
Truth will rise above falsehood as oil above water. -Miguel de Cervantes

Episode 372 – Ain’t Got No Title

I’m going to eat pizza tonight and I am super stoked about it. ¬†I lurve pizza. ¬†It’s gooey and warm and salty and amazing and WHY IS IT NOT MADE YET!? ¬†I am going to die! ¬†Also, I think I need a nap. ¬†Or more Tea. ¬†Also, I talk about tea on the show a lot today… because tea is life. ¬†And coconut oil. ¬†Coconut oil and tea are life. ¬†Lives. ¬†Yes.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE! ¬†Even your grandmother! ¬†She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
Britain is the second-largest nation of tea drinkers per capita.  Ireland is the first.

Japanese Restrooms Offer Special Toilet Paper For Wiping Phones
Man has steel ring cut from penis by firemen
Doctors Remove Scissors From Man’s Abdomen After 18 Years
Monopoly Sets Up Holiday Hotline To Settle Family Disputes

Words of Wisdom:
A woman is like a tea bag – you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water. – Eleanor Roosevelt

 

Episode 371 – Snap Chat Duck-It

So, adult coloring books are awesome… but I want KIDS coloring books for adults. I want giant spaces to fill in, not tiny ass little spots that my ultra-sharpened colored pencil can’t even fit inside. Why can’t they make the kids coloring books without connecting the dots and mass stupidity and let adults color those? Why do they want to make us blind and call it theraputic? It’s all a scam from the people who make glasses…

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE! ¬†Even your grandmother! ¬†She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
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Factoid of the Week:
Factoid The Sun alone contains 99.8% of the total mass in the Solar System.

Tallow tensions: Vegans want ‘fat-free’ UK 5-pound banknote
Fake Dentist Allegedly Pulled Teeth Without Anesthesia
Edinburgh man with bionic penis inundated with date offers
Pa. man robs bank with note written on rehab discharge papers

Words of Wisdom:
Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth. – Buddha

Episode 370 – Butt Cinders (WHY ALL THE BUTTS?!)

Have you ever noticed that when you do not get enough sleep you wake up hungry; ravenous, even? ¬†I mean, if I get less than 8 hours of sleep, I want to cover the blanket off my bed in gravey and shovel it down in heaping spoonfulls. ¬†That’s science! ¬†They’ve done studies (that I will not cite here because I am pretending this is a BS paper that a college student is writing) that link not enough sleep to improper eating habits and weight gain. ¬†So, when I sleep in, I am really watching over my health. ¬†Suck on that!

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE! ¬†Even your grandmother! ¬†She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
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Factoid of the Week:
Candle flames are blue at the bottom because that’s where they take up fresh air, and yellow at the top because the rising fumes from below partly suffocate the upper part of the flame.

Landlord Caught Having Sex In Tenants’s Bed
That’ll show her! Frustrated husband chops off his genitals with a knife after his wife hadn’t had sex with him for a DECADE

Words of Wisdom:
Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. – William Butler Yeats

Episode 369 – I Have No Butt

extreme_bodybuilder_02Have you ever had Rum Balls? ¬†I made some last week and Stephen and I destroyed them. ¬†Well, let’s be honest, I stopped making them into balls years ago… too much work. ¬†I now just make a massive lump of rum dough and give Stephen a spoon. ¬†Life is good.

Our show is listener supported… tell EVERYONE about the wackiness! EVERYONE! ¬†Even your grandmother! ¬†She needs penis jokes too!

If you really dig what we do, be sure to leave us a review on whatever podcast service you use.  It helps us out a ton!

iTunes: http://bit.ly/hnhshow
Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/horseshoes-and-hand-grenades

Factoid of the Week:
The word winters comes from the Germanic wintar which in turn is derived from the root wed¬† meaning ‘wet’ or water’, and so signifying a wet season.

Bodybuilder Bitch Slaps Judge
Pot Smuggled in Christmas Presents
Protein Rich Sperm Smoothies
Just Buy The Damn Raspberries

Words of Wisdom:
Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face. – Victor Hugo

Tater’s Take – Thanksgiving 2016

Since we didn’t have an episode last week, Tater decided to send us his thoughts on Thanksgiving and what he’s thankful for. Hope you guys enjoy!